You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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