Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
