very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
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Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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