He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
