He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
