My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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