I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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