You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
