if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize