Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
