Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Even the bartender felt bad for me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
