we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
