last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
