the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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