I swear she didn't look like that last week.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
