I've blown a few things in my day
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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