I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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