i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
