spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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