I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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