I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So many bounce houses so little time
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
