How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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