I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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