I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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