FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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