He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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