when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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