oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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