I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize