Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
