lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
