he referred to my room as the tit cave...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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