so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
