i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
