Just mADE A PArabola og urine
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
