between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
