I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize