There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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