Your tits are I can't wait for
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
