They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
