problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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