thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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