Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Randomize
