Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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