i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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