I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
