Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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