Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize