You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
