I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
