i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize