i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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