the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
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That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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