I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
