I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
