if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
