if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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