Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
