Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
His nipple licking is glorious
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize