She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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