As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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